Monthly Checkup
It's 1 in the morning on Saturday--make that Sunday, insomnia's decided to be my friend again, & I have church in the morning. So what's a girl to do? It's been just over a month, so I figured I'd update this thing. Not like anyone really reads it, but it makes me feel important, like someone out there in the vast emptiness of cyberspace is eargerly awaiting whatever gems of logic I might type. Ok, get over yourself girl!
It's August, which means summer's pretty much over. All in all, it was a busy one, but then again most are busy. Camp was amazing, VBS was pretty good, from what I hear Spec & the other camps were the best ever. Yeah yeah, that's what we say every year. Through it all, however, I'm still feeling this sense of emptiness. It's been there before, but not nearly as bad as this. For a while I was seriously taking a sabattical from ministry. "Burnout" doesn't seem to adequately describe it. Maybe it's just a letdown of all the crap I had to deal with, maybe it's stress, maybe it's God telling me to get a new focus. Whatever it is, I started my "Dear John" letter to the pastor. I didn't want out completely, just for a while. Long enough to get my head back on straight. Whatever it was, most of it's gone now. Hopefully these last vestiges will disappear soon; I hate feeling like this.
On the love life front, it's still frustratingly empty. The guy is still calling me, which I try to take as a hopeful sign, but the lack of face-to-face worries me. I don't know, maybe I should write him off as anything more than a phone buddy. If he were interested, wouldn't he make more of an effort to see me? Or at least be as frustrated as I am? But on the other hand, I do like him. He's smart, funny, we talk for hours...sometimes I'm afraid that's the problem. We've talked so much that we've moved past that ambiguous "potential" stage right into buddy stage. Ugh, I hate dating. Why can't we just go back to arranged marriages? It'd make my live much easier.
All right, time to try & get to sleep. Morning is gonna come way too early if I don't. Where's those counting sheep when you really need them?
It's August, which means summer's pretty much over. All in all, it was a busy one, but then again most are busy. Camp was amazing, VBS was pretty good, from what I hear Spec & the other camps were the best ever. Yeah yeah, that's what we say every year. Through it all, however, I'm still feeling this sense of emptiness. It's been there before, but not nearly as bad as this. For a while I was seriously taking a sabattical from ministry. "Burnout" doesn't seem to adequately describe it. Maybe it's just a letdown of all the crap I had to deal with, maybe it's stress, maybe it's God telling me to get a new focus. Whatever it is, I started my "Dear John" letter to the pastor. I didn't want out completely, just for a while. Long enough to get my head back on straight. Whatever it was, most of it's gone now. Hopefully these last vestiges will disappear soon; I hate feeling like this.
On the love life front, it's still frustratingly empty. The guy is still calling me, which I try to take as a hopeful sign, but the lack of face-to-face worries me. I don't know, maybe I should write him off as anything more than a phone buddy. If he were interested, wouldn't he make more of an effort to see me? Or at least be as frustrated as I am? But on the other hand, I do like him. He's smart, funny, we talk for hours...sometimes I'm afraid that's the problem. We've talked so much that we've moved past that ambiguous "potential" stage right into buddy stage. Ugh, I hate dating. Why can't we just go back to arranged marriages? It'd make my live much easier.
All right, time to try & get to sleep. Morning is gonna come way too early if I don't. Where's those counting sheep when you really need them?
posted by Jen | 2:19 AM
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